Collabo Review: Jay and I do N.E.R.D.'s "In Search Of..."

So my dear friend and part-time long distance stalker who probably uses his military expertise to stalk me all the way from the dry ass state of Arizona, Jay (check out his blog because it is THE funniest shit EVER!)...

...gave me the brilliant idea of doing a live full album review via IM, so to test it out we reviewed N.E.R.D.'s In Search Of...



And pure hilarity, profanity, and grammatical incorrectness ensued.




Beezy: let's go 1) Lapdance

Jay: I'M A DIRTY DOG

Beezy: better than being a dirty bird right about now...

Jay: I kinda miss this clav sound the Tunes used to have.. it was kinda cheesy, but it was kinda dope.. as soon as you heard that shit, you already knew who it was..
Jay: The politician metaphor is kinda stupid though.. c'mon Pharrell.. you have the greatest CD cover ever and can't come up with a better song concept?

Beezy: i liked the metaphor
Beezy: it made people think about how the system really is pimping us

Jay: Spymob killed this got damn song by the way.. the drummer went clean the fuck off on Lee Harvey's part

Beezy: yessir
Beezy: dopeness

Jay: AND YOU KNOW THE FLOW UNGODLY BABY
Jay: Lee Harvey > Eminem
Jay: Way to go Vita!

Beezy: where is she?
Beezy: Hiding out with Amil and Charli Baltimore?

Jay: She made me a Strawberry Banana Julius today at Orange Julius earlier..
Jay: Start the second song?

Beezy: Hahahahaha

Jay: 2) Things Are Getting Better & Shit
Jay: CHECK IT OUT BITCH

Beezy: I was about to say that!

Jay: Spymob played on "Seeing Sounds", right? These niggas are ill...

Beezy: i believe so

Jay: Barack needs to toss these niggas a job.. put them on his cabinet
Jay: The drummer is the star of the show though.. dude is sick
Jay: Is that Shay or Chad? I never could figure it out...

Beezy: Shay

Jay: A grown ass nigga named Shay.. what part of the game is that?
Jay: Chad played guitar right?

Beezy: yeah

Jay: SAID I WAS A NERD, BUT I AIN'T A PUNK

Beezy: but Shay earned a side gig with The Neptunes so I'm not mad at him

Jay: This was back when Pharrell still had that fucked up pube-stache, huh?

Beezy: his still wasn't and never will be as bad as Anthony Hamilton's former beard
Beezy: ewwwwww

Jay: Anthony's beard is full of astringent.. don't hate
Jay: Aww shit my favorite part is coming up..
Jay: HOW DO YOUUUUUUU FEEEEEEEL

Beezy:: aight track 3...a joint called "Brain"

Jay: You know I love your brain, right?

Beezy:: JT said it too...I just love your...braaaaaaiiiinnn

Jay: This album has some simplistic, severly underated basslines.. them shits are perfect..

Beezy: Chad is dope with the guitar on this one

Jay: This CD cover is killing me right now.. me and my boy Breon used to spend hours on end just staring and laughing at that shit..
Jay: House slippers and PS1.. what's fucking with that?

Beezy: at least it wasn't a sega cd Beezy: lmao

Jay: HANDS UP IF YOU FEEL LIKE THAT

Beezy: Or do I really love your brain...

Jay: NERD is one of my all-time favorite groups.. these niggas are just so effortless with their shit..

Beezy: they are, and they seem to save the most creative jawns for themselves

Jay: I wonder who's that scratching at the end?
Jay: I never got the whole snoring thing though..

Beezy: and then the fool gets narcoleptically orgasmic and falls asleep
Beezy: smch

Jay: He's hyperglycemic
Jay: Nigga needed a candy bar
Jay: Provider?

Beezy: yep

Jay: I still remember the first time I heard this shit.. I hated this fucking song
Jay: I was in the desert doing the AF thing..

Beezy: "You must've passed out..."

Jay: It took me forever and a day to appreciate the gangsta of this song..
Jay: That hook is sick
Jay: From the vocals, to the guitar chords, that shit is perfect..

Beezy: The chords are what make the song

Jay: Pharrell stole one of my lines.. "Please don't leave..... I love you"
Jay: Bitin' ass nigga

Beezy: Suuuuuure. Pharrell bit one of your lines...
Beezy: kinda gives it an urban desperado feel

Jay: Nice description
Jay: WILL I FIND MY SANITY, WILL I FIND MY GLORY
Jay: Nigga stole that from me too
Jay: I'mjustsayin'..

Beezy: :-/

Jay: The bridge on this shit is fire too.. Neptunes always have some fire beat switches..

Beezy: The Bossa Nova switch is sick

Jay: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU SEE
Jay: They wrecked shit on Madonna's "Hard Candy".. not that I heard it, I'm just..... sayin'

Beezy: whatever
Beezy: I know you STAN for that album
Beezy: it's ok
Beezy: I don't think of you as less of a man

Jay: I plead the fifth
Jay: The end is beautiful
Jay: It makes me want to hold your hand, palm your ass, and demand some head

Beezy: Bwahahahahaha
Beezy: How romantic
Beezy: How about some Truth or Dare?

Jay: Well alright!
Jay: I don't give a shit what anybody says, as dope as Clipse are now, them niggas SUCKED until Lord Willin
Jay: I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATED these niggas on here
Jay: Them niggas were on some Nick Cannon fucking half of hollywood, late bloomer shit

Beezy: sheeeeiiiiiit
Beezy: they're not THAT bad

Jay: Kelis has always been dope, however

Beezy: Kaleidoscope was my shit!

Jay: Not bad at all for a woman who smells like full court basketball
Jay: Hell yes, Kaleidoscope went hard

Beezy: I still think "Get Along With You" was the best Neptunes beat ever
Beezy: EVER

Jay: It's definitely up there
Jay: This nigga even came in wack.. "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN"
Jay: They used to have some mean ass drum patterns
Jay: Kelis sounds sexy.. I'd call Nas lucky, but I bet her pussy smells like Funions
Jay: Wait.. she was still fucking Pharrell during this time period, right?
Jay: Nas needs to let her pick his beats

Beezy: but they won't fit him
Beezy: they'd fit her so that she can do the hook

Jay: Tape You?
Jay: I love this fucking song!
Jay: I'm over here dancin' like Carlton & shit

Beezy: ouch

Jay: This nigga is slick with it.. "It's just my fantasy"

Beezy: "Sip some of my slurpee..."

Jay: Too bad this song is useless.. women get naked on camera without our assistance
Jay: Girls Gone Wild & shit..
Jay: This second verse sets this bitch off..
Jay: "It's mine singlehandedly.."
Jay: That nigga on his Billy Dee shit on here..

Beezy: Colt 45 smooth

Jay: It's pimpin', pimpin'!

Beezy: Have you ever taped someone...all night?

Jay: Does DVR count?

Beezy: nah not really

Jay: Nah, maybe don't worry bout your makeup..
Jay: Now girl kiss her boobs
Jay: This nigga is speakin gospel
Jay: I never realized how much they use congos & shit on here
Jay: That second beat is ill

Beezy: they went international on the whole thing

Jay: Somebody seriously needs to find this drummer

Beezy: Run To The Sun

Jay: How the hell does Shay have a job?
Jay: He's on like..... 2 songs
Jay: Most worthless nigga since Memphis Bleek

Beezy: or Tony Yayo


Jay: This song is alot deeper than people give it credit for
Jay: Kinda like me

Beezy: Awwwww
Beezy: I sense a sensitive moment

Jay: I love you girl
Jay: I wish we could run to the sun
Jay: And never come back
Jay: I promise not to Chris Brown you

Beezy: Write that in a card and watch the panties come off

Jay: The panties come off anyway.. the magic makes itself
Jay: I'm just an accessory
Jay: Did Chad play on this too?

Beezy: yeah
Beezy: he does guitar on all of the songs

Jay: AND NEVER COME BACK
Jay: So lets get this right..... Pharrell produes and sings, Chad produces and plays instruments, and Shay....... sits on his ass and plays outdated gaming consoles?
Jay: I want his life

Beezy: let's not forget that he gets paid an assload of money to do so

Jay: Nigga be pullin' some bad broads too.. "Peep this new song we did!" "Nigga you ain't even on there!"
Jay: "You still gonna fuck me though!"
Jay: Baby Doll?
Jay: One of my favorites on the album.. the way they use that open hat is so cold

Beezy: Very 60s ish
Beezy: love it

Jay: That baseline is so ill too.. the production on this shit is crazy
Jay: Fuck you Elvis
Jay: We made this shit!
Jay: WTF @ the guitar during the chorus.. how the fuck can you NOT feel this shit?

Beezy: makes me wanna go to one of those beach parties
Beezy: and do those wack ass dances

Jay: From Justin To Kelly?
Jay: Let's get it

Beezy: Get your Corbin Bleu wig and we'll do it!

Jay: You're my pop rocks
Jay: That shit is a dope line.. I'ma use that this weekend

Beezy: On who?

Jay: Fuck whoever doesn't like this honky tonk ass song
Jay: Am I High?

Beezy: let's go

Jay: Got dammit, not them pre-Lord Willing niggas again...

Beezy: Chillax. It's only one of them this time.

Jay: So much about this beat fucks me up
Jay: The shit is pure genius
Jay: The piano is what sets this bitch off proper though
Jay: Word to mutha
Jay: I'm in awe at the piano chords.. those are some ill melodies
Jay: If having sex with Halle Berry had a sonic equivellent, it'd be those piano notes
Jay: Oh God... Malice
Jay: You seriously think this nigga was dope?

Beezy: after Lord Willin'

Jay: Nigga almost ruined the song...

Beezy: whatever happened to Roscoe P. Coldchain?

Jay: Yeah, PRE-Lord these niggas sucked
Jay: Ayo this beat is...... hot
Jay: Malice just ruined the song for me..
Jay: I don't even wanna hear this shit anymo--OH SHIT THE PIANO
Jay: I'm giddy again! Look at me! I'm dancin' on niggas!

Beezy: Rock Star

Jay: FUCKING POSER
Jay: One of my all time favorite songs
Jay: This shit goes HARD
Jay: This is what "Spaz" should've been

Beezy: Spaz is the 2.0 version of this

Jay: Hell no it ain't.. Spaz pales in comparison.. significanntly
Jay: This song almost got my ass kicked when I saw them live
Jay: White folks got out of pocket, I had to pull out my black card and remind them just who the fuck I am

Beezy: lmao

Jay: ...........nah, I just hid in the corner.. but I was gangsta in that corner!
Jay: No bullshit, when I saw this live like 10 people got dragged off by the paramedics
Jay: Shit erupted into a riot zone
Jay: I've gotten like 6 speeding tickets to this junt..
Jay: Song be all up in my ear canal like "Drive faster, nigga.. drive faster.. "

Beezy: Then you see blue lights...

Jay: and black batons

Beezy: You think that you can get away with it and then...

Jay: ITS TOO DAMN LATE TO APOLOGIZE
Jay: Bobby James?
Jay: As much as I like "Stay Together", they should've ended this shit with Bobby James..
Jay: Talk about a perfect ending..
Jay: When that clav comes in, that shit sounds ill
Jay: Where the fuck do they come up with these melodies
Jay: These niggas never sample.. they must be CAKING

Beezy: something seems a little off about the beat
Beezy:i think the drum pattern is a little too hard for the melody

Jay: Fake Dilla niggas
Jay: I think this is the only song without a live drummer.. sounds like programming

Beezy: let's just go to Stay Together

Jay: Ol' girl sets this shit off
Jay: That interlude at the end is ill though
Jay: BA BA BAAAAAAA BAAAAAAAAA BAAAAA

Beezy: This is a cute song.

Jay: That drum pattern is dope

Beezy: and with the organ too

Jay: Are those rhodes?

Beezy: this song is dope, but it seems like it was meant to be shorter

Jay: It sounds like they wanted the epic last song, and realized that they already had it in Bobby James but it was too late
Jay: This shit should've came after "Am I High"
Jay: Then "Rock Star", then close it out with Bobby J

Beezy: And that's how it should've been

Jay: But alas, much like Lil' Kim's face, it's too late

Beezy: Classic album nonetheless

Jay: Agreed...undeniable classic...thanks Shay!


Again check out Jay's blog I Digress.